1111

I’ve written 1111 posts on this blog. It’s kinda fitting for this to be the 1111th post. It feels like we’ve finally hit our stride.

When I started this journey 5.5 years ago I never would’ve imagined to find myself where I am today. And where is that, you may ask? Today, I find myself at a place of acceptance and enjoyment.

When Nathan was younger I truly believed it was my mission in life to help Nathan accomplish his full potential. I read so much about brain plasticity and I believed that, with enough stimulation, Nathan’s brain HAD to change and improve. I believed that it wasn’t a matter of IF, it was just a matter of figuring out what was enough, and what the right kind of stimulation was.

Here we are, 5.5 years later, 3 stem cell treatments, 6 medek intensives, 80 Hbot dives, 1 year of G-therapy, 2 intensive therapies later – and Nathan is still not sitting, holding up his head, or able to use his body at all.

But you know what – I don’t have any regrets. We did everything we could. I am so grateful for that. I know without a doubt that Nathan’s brain just simply couldn’t adapt to the damages.

And now I know my mission was all wrong. It wasn’t my job to help Nathan fulfill his full potential. It was Nathan’s job to help me fulfill mine.

So now that we are past that, we’ve hit our stride. We have accepted Nathan’s limitations and are now starting to adjust to the next stretch of our lives. We are starting to talk about accessible houses, wheelchair vans, etc etc.

If you had told me I would’ve felt this way, I wouldn’t have believed you. But you know what, I am glad. I feel happy. Fulfilled. Nathan is an amazing human being. A joy to be with. He brings so much love and happiness to all of our lives.

I celebrate this 1111th post, with gratitude for how far we’ve come.