A little piece of heaven

Today marks the end of an era. And as a tribute to this ending and new beginning I thought I’d talk about a little piece of heaven.

So many of my posts in the last few months have centered around Nathan’s disability. Today and as Xmas gets close I thought I should write about Nathan’s abilities.

What I’ve come to see with pristine clarity is that Nathan’s body may be broken but his soul soars. He is the gentlest, most loving, most giving, most forgiving, most charismatic, most pure soul I have ever encountered. And this is why I’ve called this blog “A little piece of heaven.” Becaues that’s what Nathan is – a little piece of heaven, a little piece of perfection.

And the more I let go of expectations and just go with the current of his love, the more I find myself enjoying him, the more happiness and peace I find in my heart. As I see how perfect he is, I realize his soul embodies what I’d imagine heaven to feel like.

And now that I recognize that I have a little piece of heaven in my house, I’ve decided it’s time to let go of stressing and worrying about Nathan. Why should I? He doesn’t need me to stress! And I surely don’t need it either. When I saw the doctor he said that my body is depleted mostly from stress, which is why I’ve been so sick and nonfunctional. I finally saw very clearly how foolish I’ve been. Worrying about someone who doesnt’ need to be worried over. It was the lesson my teacher tried to offer me a year and a half ago but I wasn’t ready to accept that lesson. I was determined to put humpty together again.

Now I know that humpty is perfect the way he is and as a new era rises my focus is going to be on loving and enjoying humpty dumpty. It’s time!

Another reason why this is the end of an era. Today we picked up Nathan’s Hart Walker. We now have EVERYTHING we need for Nathan. He’s had a 3 week intensive therapy, 2 shots of stem cells, osteopathy, Intensive sensory stimulation, HBOT, ABR. We have all the equipment we need. We’ve explored so many things, we’ve tried everything and we have a better understanding of what we need to do to help Nathan.

So the “research” era is over and the “Doing and enjoying” era will begin. For the next 6-12 months we are just going to DO. We are going to put all the programs into practice and give them time to work. Instead of looking for new things we are going to stick with who and what we’ve found and do our best to balance his therapies/stimulation with just relaxing and having fun.

I know we are on the right path now. We have the right people helping us. We have the right tools and equipment. And I am excited about what this new era will bring. Not because I hope it will bring external changes in his development or abilities. But because now I am at total peace with our path. I am at total peace with the knowledge that we will always help Nathan and give him as many opportunities as we can to improve his skills and abilities while celebrating and enjoying his soul. What more could anyone ask for?

Here are some photos of Nathan:After we picked up the Hart Walker we went to see friends and Nathan had a blast:

I still have some battles left to fight. I have to get a communication device for Nathan. I have to figure out what we’re going to do when he turns 3. I have to somehow fit a million things into the day.

But I can now face those battles with a sense of peace, knowing that the goal is not a desired outcome – that the purpose of the therapies is in the giving, not in the desired result. It’s a matter of letting to of expectations and desired outcomes and just see therapy as a way of interacting with nathan and giving him opportunities. And this view changes the feelign of the therapies and makes them feel more relaxed.

So thanks for sharing in my journey from the darkest of places to the simple awakening that I have a piece of heaven in my home and heart.