Bad Luck

Today Nathan went to the doctor and he was cleared of his ear infection. Also, we were told that he is in the 16th percentile in weight, 67th percentile in height, and 50th percentile in head circumference. So all is good!

Here’s a cute photo in his baseball outfit:

We saw a new doctor at a different practice. It was just our 2nd time seeing her so she asked me a lot of questions about Nathan’s condition, prognosis, etc. At one point she asked me if this was a condition he inherited from me or Owen. I said no. So she said, “Just bad luck”. I paused, looked her straight in the eye, and said, “No doctor, it was our great fortune.” She was taken aback.

We get this a lot from people in the medical profession. In fact as Nate grows older I’m sure we will get this from people everywhere.

But few understand the great good fortune of having a child like Nathan Dorje. It’s taken me a long time to understand.

All of my life, since I was very young, I’ve always prayed to have a meaningful life. I never wanted a life that was mundane, that didn’t lead to spiritual growth and transformation. Yet that was the life I found myself having before Nathan’s birth.

With Nathan Dorje, my life is no longer mundane. It is full of meaning and love.

Nathan Dorje is helping me to transform myself. To become more giving, patient, compassionate. To look beyond appearances. To strive for more than mundane accomplishments.

I believe that without Nathan Dorje I woud’ve fallen into the “capitalist rat race”..then one day I would’ve woken up, 50 years old, wondering where my life went, and why I didn’t use it more meaningfully. My precious boy has saved me from this.

He teaches me to appreciate things as little and as intuitive as holding up my head. As breathing. As being able to coordinate tiny movements and being able to grasp things in my hand. He teaches me the beauty of patience and of full, wholehearted acceptance of a situation.

He forces me to be genuine and honest with myself. If I am not genuine he knows it, he feels me, and helps me to confront myself and overcome my emotions. He is my kindest spiritual teacher.

In Nathan’s eyes I see the person I one day wish to become.


  1. What you wrote sounds so much what I think. I look at what Ryland has all gone through and he also has a smile for everyone. He’ll smile for the nurse that’s had to poke him a million times to get a IV, the doctor that’s had to admit him into the hospital, the therapist that’s had to stretch him and he always has a smile for me.

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