Lately I’ve been thinking in “bits” and I think I will write in here more “bit-like” blogs. So here are today’s bits:
* Nathan’s 7th and 8th dive went GREAT! He is having a BLAST in Irvine with Owen. He is so excited to be on an adventure with daddy. He did 4 hours straight of intensive therapy with hardly a complaint. Didn’t cry at all in the chamber. Owen is also enjoying his time with Nathan – they went out to the Irvine Spectrum last night which is Owen’s favorite mall. He’s stressed out as he’s not getting enough time to work, but they’re hanging in there.
* I am missing my boys but enjoying this time! I’m going to use this time to finish the house and to learn how to cook!
* About my “getting real” post – I wanted to write a little bit about the “other side”. However, I am currently in the best place I’ve ever been in the journey. I am very happy. I do not feel sad. I do not feel angry. I do not feel sorrow or grief. I HAVE experienced these things and I wanted to share about them. But today, right now, for the last few weeks – I have been so happy, so grateful, in a place of deep, peaceful acceptance. It has been quite a journey to get here, and looking back at those painful moments and even experiencing pangs of pain every once in a while remind me to be grateful for how I feel most of the time these days.
* I am now 30 weeks pregnant with Belle! No new news in the Belle department – tomorrow is my next OBGYN appointment.
Okay, back to work!
I have a really good, elderly woman friend who said- If we all put our troubles in a basket and passed the basket around, we’d all take our own problems back, because we recognize them and know, at least in part, what to do.
Part of me didn’t believe her- it seems like everybody elses problems- depression, kids, inlaws seemed so much smaller compared to what I was doing. Until I looked passed the surface- the mom who always seemed to handle it was drinking herself to death in private- the family with the perfect adult children (the one whose dad said my son was a bad influence on his son) just found out their son is addicted to some hardcore drugs. My son is no angel- but we aren’t THERE (yet because you never know….)
so I will say- you are doing the best you can for your family in the moment.
Will the best be something different in a month or a year? yeah maybe.
But for right now, this is what is. And the only thing you get to choose is the attitude you handle it with. Venting is allowed- always- but the best you can means getting back ‘in the game’ whatever that is for you.
Acceptance is a beautiful place to be, but recalling those times of grief, venting, and realizing how far you’ve come is definitely allowed.
I wasn’t around today, but the rest of the week I should be by my phone. give me a call if you have time to chat…. (if you’re not busy cooking!)
Marcela, please wait for me before you learn how to cook! You make it sound so easy.I’ve been trying for 30 years and NADA.I hope you didn’t inherit this gene from your aunt. It’s not good, when you love to eat, like I do.