Today was a long, difficult, awful day. None of us slept well last night so we were pretty exhausted and short of patience. Nathan spent the ENTIRE day whining and complaining. It was incredibly difficult. I have low tolerance for his whining to begin with, but when I am sleep deprived I just cannot handle it – it drives me absolutely bonkers.
During his two sessions with the Anat Baniel therapist he mostly whined. I’m not sure he got anything out of them. But when he sat in the car and we turned on the DVD player, he was perfectly happy, squealing with delight. Which is what shows me that nothing’s wrong – he just doesn’t want to do anything. Which is the main reason I stopped doing ABR. He got spoiled by all the TV he watched while we did ABR, and consequently he didn’t want to just be on the floor playing, or coloring, or doing anything else.
This is an issue that has been very difficult for us for a long time. Since he was little Nathan’s been held and spoiled. We’ve “battled” with him to try and teach him to just be on the floor on his belly or on his back, but he just complains and complains. At one point, before he got sick, we finally had him to a point where he was tolerating it a bit – but all those months of being sick destroyed his tolerance. So we’re right back where we started.
And the really sad thing is that I think this is stunting his development. I think he would be further ahead if he was just left to figure things out on his own. But he is so spoiled and dependent that the moment his belly or bum hits the floor, the whining and crying begins. And all of us have such low tolerance that after a few seconds we pick him up.
Today I decided – ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I think now we’re doing him a disservice by allowing his laziness to manipulate us. That’s all it is – laziness. During the Anat Baniel therapy today, Kristi showed us that he is capable of playing with his hands, grabbing toys, moving them. But he just refuses to do it most of the time because he wants to be either watching TV, or being held, or on the go.
So in the next couple of days and especially when we get home – a new regime starts. Since we’re not doing ABR now we’ll have time where we can just leave him on the floor and teach him to play on his own.
It is time.
He did have a few good moments today at the park:
You know that is hard to do sometimes when you know they need us to help them. I am glad Brandon likes bellytime. He has tolerated it alot more now. I hope it works out for you . Love ya both.
Hey marcela –
What do you think of, or know about, CranioSacral therapy? Ever done it with nathan.
I have met a Master of CranioSacral here in NC. She says she can make wonderful improvements with Suzy over the next 3 weeks while we are here. She sounds convincing.
What do you think?
(((((HUGS)))))
Whitney
Mmm…. I think you work under the ‘funtion bring structure’ paradigm, instead of ‘structure bring function’ that is ABR’s paradigms.
Rocío couldn’t be on her belly for the first 4 years, but that was because her structure made it impossible and unbearable to her. Since her thorax volume was so little, she would just ‘land’ on her cheek and that was unconfortable.
After 1 month of ABR, she started to love this position and ask it for sleeping. I don’t thing its lazyness…
And BTW, Nathan sounds JUST like Rocio!!!!!!!!!!
Clayton is spoiled rotten and used to fake sleep during therapy. As soon as the therapist would leave (since she thought he was asleep), he would wake up ready to play with me . . . He still needs to be entertained almost constantly, but we’re trying to push him to find things to do on his own. Neverending battle to say the least . . .
He looks so happy on the swing!
Perhaps I missed it before…you are not doing ABR? Can I ask why? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to I’m just curious. We’re going through some things now…..and oh I guess I’m just that curious. He is such a doll, I love watching the videos. I can relate to the watching tv too…Daniel is hooked and I’ve had to stop it quickly. That is one thing about ABR- keeping him occupied with something other than the TV!