I went out to dinner with somebody who will remain unnamed, and we were talking about our kids. Eventually the conversation swung to our kids and what they like to eat, and we talked about how under-weight Nathan is. In a very nice way she said if I wasn’t such a health nut, Nathan could eat more foods and be chunkier.
Here’s the thing. Yes, I have become a health nut. Through research I learned that your body is what you eat, and I became very conscious of the things I put into my body and into my kid’s bodies. Because without health you have nothing and I want us all to be healthy. Because I want us all to be as happy as can be and cranky over sugared children are not happy. Because sick manlourished kids are not happy. Because whenever I eat sugar I feel bloated and anxious and it’s not a good feeling. So yes, I am health conscious and diet is a very important aspect of health.
But. It became really hard. I felt like an army general policing what the kids ate. I was the scrooge telling everyone not to give my kids hot dogs or lollipops or ice cream. So I gave up. And as of a few months ago, my kids eat junk. I try to make sure they at least eat a healthy breakfast and lunch. But dinner is up for grabs. The dinner menu rarely varies from hot dogs, pizza, hamburgers, chicken nuggets, ice cream. Nathan eats a chocolate for dessert with lunch every day. Izzy demands an ice cream every time we go to the mall, and a chocolate chip cookie every time we go to the mall in Hollywood (often). She goes to the junk food cabinet at least once a day and demands something from it. Sometimes I feel that a whole day will go by and Izzy ate little more than sugar. I do my best to get her to eat good stuff but she’ll refuse to eat unless she gets what she wants. Sometimes I give in because I’d rather know that she at least has something in her stomach, even if it’s a bad something.
I ask myself all the time. What’s more important, to be right or to be happy? I want to be happy more than I want to be right. I know the right thing is to make sure the kids eat a healthy diet. But we kept Nathan casein and gluten free for 2 years and it was HARD. And stressful. I don’t want to go through that again. I’d rather be happy. I posted yesterday about Nathan’s allergies. I know that if he was eating better the allergy situation would improve. But then his appetite would decrease because he likes junk food, he’d get skeletal again, which makes him vulnerable when illness attacks.
So. What do you think? What’s the balance here? How do you guys do it?
I agree – it is a tough decision. But I think you answered your own question in your post already – when you eat good healthy food, you feel so much better. Being a parent isn’t easy in any aspect. Its our job to teach our children to live a healthy lifestyle…sugar is so powerful and it would be good to teach children limitations around it, otherwise it will be a BIG problem for them as they grow up. Maybe I’m just saying that because sugar is my downfall and I know when I eat it I get the same reactions as you do. Children aren’t as observant of how food affects their bodies, so I think as parents its our job to monitor that. When they get older, they will be more in tune with their body and know when a certain food isn’t good for them based on how they feel. Perfection isn’t required, just do the best you can most of the time and that will be enough. Maybe make sweet treats available once a week or only when you go do a special place. It does seem strange that when Nathan eats healthy (and weighs less), he is more vulnerable to illness. It seems like it would be the other way around.
Everyone’s balance is different and changes over time. What may work for you now (a little junk) may not work later, and that’s okay. You’re a great mom and you’ve got your kids’ best interest at heart. Stay in tune and go with the flow. People always have well-meaning opinions. Acknowledge the spirit in which the words were meant (love of nathan, etc.) and keep doing your best. It’s the key to surviving my mother-in-law. 😉 Good luck!
A pediatrician told me once that your toddler will not starve herself to death. The same pediatrician said you do not want a power struggle over food-. So- what worked for us-
keeping applesauce cups available- making freeze pops with high quality juice- also- keeping a small dish in reach with something from each food group on it so the child can free choice eat during the day. Also- the gluten free market is growing rapidly- there is almost an entire row of the local chain grocery that is gluten/lactose/corn syrup free. all that said- we went thru a stage where fish stix and tator tots were all Z would eat- now he eats everything from sushi to Annie’s mac n’ cheese. And while I wouldn’t call him a health nut- he eats a fairly balanced healthy diet living on his own.
Bad stress makes toxins in our body. If the diet is a stress then something is wrong and not that healthy. One doctor focused on nutrition said that if people are healthy then their body manages to have a junk food from time to time. If there are not healthy they should watch what they eat.
Oliver has been on been on a diet for about 3,5 years. His diet is much more difficult than casein and glutein free but we know that he feels better know. We make a break during the Christmas and a holiday, but never dairy. We know for sure this is not good for him, and also not for his brain.
Junk food would not be a way for me even with the healthy child. From time to time, not every day. On the other hand, burger can be good quality one and rubbish one made of everything except for meat. So, it depends on the quality.
Being happy and balanced is more than stress from the diet.
One question? The difference between diet and the lifestyle. Oliver is on a diet as he needs it, but to eat certain way can be also a lifestyle.
You are an Aries. It is hard to keep the middle. Aries often goes from the extreme to the extreme. I know that very well. 🙂 Isabelle is Aries like my niece. To give some borders, to keep some rules, to watch they don’t get injured, and that is all you can do, they always do what they want, likely they are smart. I am Aries, my brother too, but his daughter is the real one. So, sometimes they have hard discussions but my brother is a gorgeous educator. He is gifted.