Sometimes I wonder if you’all think I’m bipolar or schizophrenic or something like that…because one day I feel total peace, the next I’m a nervous wreck, the next I feel perfect acceptance for Nathan and his situation, the next I am on a plane to BoraBora for a new miracle treatment 🙂
The thing is…this journey is INTENSE! And I feel that a big part of why Nathan is in this world is to TEACH. He is here to teach the world, especially me, to accept situations and people just they are, to see beyond the exterior, to experience the silence of your mind so you can hear others talking directly to your heart, not to be materialistic, to value every moment of life with all of it’s gifts, to see beyond life at what’s eternal and live our life not for today but for that future.
And I am a committed student. I WANT to learn with all of my heart. I want him to change me. I pray that every day, every month, every year, I am a more loving, more caring person just for having Nathan in my life.
And just as with any journey, you go up and down and around and you plateau and you fall and you climb. Such are my emotions as I live this journey as intensely and deeply and open-heartedly as I possibly can.
So the next time you think of calling a mental institution after reading my blog…just picture me climbing a mountain taller and more luscious and more beautiful than Mt. Everest!
Marcela, you are normal and very honest. Intense is the perfect word to describe being a parent to a special child. I for one am glad that you have a blog & post about everything you have done for Nathan as well as what Nathan has done for you.
Not schizophrenic, but possibly bipolar. Just kidding my friend. You are an amazing example of a human being on this journey of life. I also have days of excitement, energy, and strength and other days of confusion and doubt. I think that this is our growth. You are wise to look at Nathan as here not only to teach you, but others. I personally am blessed to have Nathan, you, Belle, and Owen in our lives. You inspire, teach, and touch the lives of many.
Hi Marcela, are you writing about me? 🙂 I think that we all have the same. So, you are OK. 🙂 But it is always good to know that I am not alone to feel like that.
Me too Marcela! I feel the same way sometimes!
We live a roller coaster life… no doubt!
Our kids really make us really real. We learn so much from them that I can not even explain. Just yesterday I was told I was a saint three times at a cookout.
I asked why do you say a saint?
They asked how do you do it ..with Cj and Ryan?
I said I do not know any other way. It is what it is and I love them and I was chosen.
Maybe we are saints?