Musings from a Hospital Room


I should be sleeping but I can’t.  Today was a tough day.  3 days post surgery and I thought by now Nathan would be on his way home.  Instead today I watched him wither away in front of my eyes.  He became paler, struggling more and more to breathe, not waking up.  He slept for 29 hours straight.   I kept telling the doctors and  nurses that something was wrong, but nobody believed me.

Finally I went on Facebook and mentioned the symptoms to other moms of children with special needs, who gave me a bunch of ideas.  I then called Nathan’s pediatrician, who called the hospital and demanded they do something.  I mentioned the possibilities that the other moms suggested, and they did the blood work to check for these.  Sure enough everything they suspected was correct.  He lost too much blood during surgery and needed a blood transfusion.  He is getting the blood as I type this.  He also needed extra meds for his lungs, which collapsed.  He may have pneumonia on top of everything else, but we are watching and waiting to see how his lungs progress.

For a moment there I was terribly scared.  After Gavin’s death I’m extra afraid.  What terrified me even more was that he wasn’t waking up.  I asked everyone to pray.  And within a short while, a new doctor came on board, and she was single-pointedly focused on helping Nathan.  She got an x-ray tech to come up immediately.  Had the respiratory team work on him right away.  Asked for labs instantly.  Everything happened right away.  Shortly they realized he needed blood, and that he probably has mild pneumonia.   His heart rate has been terribly high so they also switched from albuterol to xopenex.

Just as I was considering requesting an EKG, he opened those big brown eyes and gave me a glimmer of a smile.  There was a light in his eyes I haven’t seen in 2 days.  I sat with him and held him as best as I could while he has a massive cast.   I asked him if he wanted me to sit with him and he blinked for yes.  He also wanted to watch a show – he picked The Lorax.  He was awake for about 2 hours, with a little bit of pain but not too much.  Then we had to deal with a diaper blowout and a busted IV.  He was calm while they set up a new IV.

He’s now asleep. He’s requiring 5 Liters of Oxygen.  They backed off on all the sedating pain meds to avoid depressing his respiratory system.  As of now they will only give him Tylenol and Motrin.  His hear rate is down to 128 which is much better than it’s been all day (he was averaging 170)!  Temperature is also down from 102 to 99.

I’m hoping we are on the other side now.

The whole thing has been so scary.  This is the 2nd time he’s almost been killed by doctors.   The first time was when he was a baby by Dr. Lazaref.   The 2nd time was Friday, when the hospital switched out an antibiotic for a narcotic/sedative, and accidentally gave him a mega jumbo dosis of Precedex, a heavy duty narcotic for ADULTS, that should ONLY be used in an ICU setting.

I also what would’ve happened if I hadn’t consulted other parents on Facebook? They would’ve probably continued saying Nathan was okay until more serious negative results occurred? As it is, I feel that this situation would’ve gotten out of control very fast, he was getting worse by the minute.

I’m so grateful for so many lovely friends all over the world who love and pray for Nathan.  I believe those prayers facilitated a transformation.

And as I sit here watching blood being dripped into his body, I pray and pray and pray.  And with every passing day I gain a clearer, deeper understanding of the preciousness of Nathan’s life, what a fortunate gift to us every single breath he takes.   Life is so fragile, so volatile.  This has been a reminder to enjoy it deeply, especially Nathan’s.

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