Our New Paradigm – The Middle Way

Now that I’ve given you all of the pieces of the puzzle I can talk about what our new paradigm actually is. I’m calling it “The Middle Way”.

The very foundation of this paradigm is seeing our kids as being sublime, perfect beings. They are not broken or in need of fixing. They are not damaged or “less than” their peers. Yes, they are different. In some ways they need more help, in others they are gifted.

During a time ruled by capitalism, chaos, and destruction, our kids are a source of incredible beauty. They are a force of positive change. Their difficulties evoke compassion and deep, unconditional love in the people around them. They make each and every one of us see what is really important in life – is it being rich? Is it being successful at everything we do? Is it getting our way all the time? Or are small achievements important? Is health important? Is the very fact that we have the opportuinity to live, help and be helped, love and be loved, important? Would we have learned these lessons so deeply without our kids?

So this paradigm requires seeing our kids as having their own unique value and worth in our world. Yes, they are different. Yes, they require more help. Yes, it requires sacrifices from us. But what they contribute to the world is incredible. Think of a ballerina. She undergoes tremendous sacrifice for her art. There is enjoyment in her trade, as well as pain. But her art is her gift to the world, to herself. Our kid’s way of being is a gift to the world. Their physical limitations sometimes cause them pain, like any artist experiences. But often they are happy and they thoroughly enjoy their existence. Some aren’t always happy. Others are rarely happy. This doesn’t change things. The key thing is that they cause us to become less self absorbed, to have compassion, to love deeper than we ever thought we could, to open our hearts in ways we didn’t know we were capable of.

Based on this view, the intervention and therapeutic approach has to be crafted from the point of view that our kids are OK and whole, not that they are broken and need to be fixed. If we see them as okay, then the activities that we choose are going to be focused on enjoyment. The idea will be to use activities to strengthen their bodies and help them gain functional skills. If these activities are boring and just therapy and don’t contribute anything to their emotional well-being, are they worth it? This depends on what benefits are being gained. But generally, the barometer should be whether our children will mostly enjoy the activities.

To support their physical well-being, we feed them the best possible alkalizing, organic, easy to digest foods. We make sure they are getting enough good bacteria and other healthy supplements and protect their bodies from environmental toxins, excessive use of antibiotics, and other harmful aspects of our environment.

Most importantly, we realize that our children can feel our energies. If we are constantly stressed out about them, they feel our stress. If we believe they are broken and not OK, they know that we think that about them. If we believe they are going to have a bad quality of life, they perceive they are not worth having a good quality of life, if we fear for their future, they feel our fear. So why waste time? Why not exist in the present, enjoy them while we have them, knowing how fragile life is? Why not choose to live without fear, in the present moment?

If you believe in Heaven, then this life is a very short interlude before our eternity in Heaven. So what if our kids aren’t baseball stars? Heck, so what if they can’t even hold up their heads? You can bet they’ll experience a peace way beyond anything we can imagine when they arrive in their eternal home! If you believe in reincarnation, then this is just a brief life, just like travelling somewhere for a few days before we move on to a new appearance. So what if this brief trip happens in a “differently-abled” vessel?

It’s still important to help them move their bodies and exercise. It’s important to stimulate them and give them opportunities to interact with their world. It’s important to offer them therapies and healing modalities that will keep their bodies in good health. But instead of being upset if they don’t get the results we want, we can enjoy every little inchstone they’ve gained.

So based on this paradigm, we are trying to find a lot of fun, age appropriate activities for Nathan to participate in. We are going to stand him in his stander, walk him in his walker, and let him swim in the water as much as we can. We are going to do functional PT and OT and teach him how to use a communication device so he can tell us his wants, needs and thoughts. We’ll do everything in our power to facilitate his environment so that we can help him continue to stay healthy, pain-free and happy.

We will select only a few things at a time, potentize everything we do,and believe in them with all our hearts. He will take natural treatments, eat healthy, and most importantly – have a lot of FUN!

You can plug in the rest of the puzzle based on what was being said in previous posts. The key – do what you can, enjoy the moment, and don’t worry about the future!

Hope you enjoyed.


  1. Hi Marcela,

    Thanks for taking the time to write this all out and share your thoughts. Above all else I really liked the “key” in your last full paragraph: “Do what you can, enjoy the moment, and don’t worry bout the future.” I agree that all of those are so important and also find it interesting that I am sure that each parent will come up with a unique combination given those parameters, meaning “do what you can” and “enjoying the moment” can mean very different things to different people. Which I think is fitting, since all our our kids are unique as well.

Speak Your Mind