A little piece of heaven

I know this looks like it’s magic and a trick. But try it! I promise you will be amazed.

This article talks a little bit about Applied Kinesiology and Brain Injured Children.

I am just so excited about this whole kinesiology because it might mean being able to “communicate” with Nathan’s body – think of what that would mean!

Yesterday was a HUGE day for me in the school placement department.

The day started for me at the local special needs preschool where the special education team wants to send Nathan. They usually don’t schedule appointments until much closer to transition time, but the team knew how nervous and apprehensive I was, so they allowed me to see the program early. I have to admit I was completely amazed!

The class that they will most likely recommend for Nathan has about 10 kids with multiple disabilities. A few are verbal, but most are non-verbal. Nathan would be the most severe physically, but socially and cognitively he would be on par with the other kids. I almost cried when I watched how wonderful the teachers and aides were with the kids. They were kind and gentle, they talked to them the entire time as they helped them eat, play, draw. It was about a 1:2 ratio, and it felt like there was plenty of help and support for the kids. It just felt like a warm, supportive, secure environment where Nathan would be able to thrive. The hallways were crowded with gait trainers, special chairs, walkers, special tricycles – pretty much any and every device, they have. They also have a therapy unit in the building so they can do PT, Speech, and OT by walking a few steps down the hall.

My heart felt happy as I watched the kids and I could totally imagine Nathan in that setting. In fact I almost wanted him to start already as I feel that he will benefit so much from a structured, social environment. All of my fears were assuaged and I was just so happy that this is the school that is in our area! It’s just a few blocks away from our house! I realized I probably wasn’t going to need to hire a private detective to spy on the teacher and on Nathan while in class 🙂 The teacher and aides all seemed really cool and intent on making it a good experience for the kids.

In my heart I know that this is definitely going to be a part of Nathan’s future.

However, during my meeting with Deb yesterday, she told me about Waldorf education, and I was SO impressed. It turns out that the lady that I meant on Sunday, Tisha, works with someone that Deb knew from the Waldorf school in Pasadena who has a preschool locally. I was blown away by the way she described the Waldorf philosophy and curriculum, so I believe this will also be a part of Nathan’s educational future. I will be observing that class as well in the next few days. Talk about synchronicities! To meet a stranger at a Farmer’s Market who is part of the only Waldorf school in the Valley, who knows the person whom I am meeting with the following day! It really blew my mind.

I also have one more program to observe: Chime Institute. They offer an inclusion program where 3/4 of the class is typical kids, and 1/4 is special needs kids. I have an appointment with them on Wednesday 🙂

So hopefully by the end of this week I would’ve seen all of the classes and will have a better idea of what would serve Nathan’s best interest. In my gut I am thinking it will be a combination of the special needs preschool and the waldorf school – 3 days in one, 2 days in the other.

Before making any decisions, I will pray and meditate about it, to try and come up with the best offering for Nathan’s garden 🙂

At my woman’s class last week, one of the ladies said something that really caught my attention. She said, “Sometimes when things get very hard I feel I am alone trying to figure it all out. That’s when I remind myself that I am helped, that I am supported. Simply by repeating this statement in my head and believing it to be true with all my heart, I no longer feel like I have to do it alone. And then, as if by magic, people start helping me. Unexpected things happen and I find myself helped and supported in ways I never thought I could’ve been”.

This comment really struck me because I do often feel as though I have to do everyong on my own without receiving anyone’s help. Along the way we have been helped in many ways by wonderful people … but then I forget and believe that I am walking this path alone.

So I started telling myself, “I am helped. I am supported.” And I have been saying this to myself for about a week now.

And when you believe, the universe answers. Today I was helped and supported in the most amazing way.

I had the opportunity to meet with a wonderful lady from my Woman’s Worth class. She is a Waldorf educator and she offered to give me some guidance about Nathan’s education.

She told me to think of Nathan as a tree in a beautiful garden. Everything I do to support him appears in the form of all the flowers around the tree, the water used for its sustenance, fertilizer to strengthen him. But try as I may I cannot control the weather or how the tree grows. I have to offer him everything I can but ultimately it’s up to the tree’s will to grow and to assimilate what he can.

She also gave me the analogy of a leaky pot. You can pour as much water as you want into a leaky pot, but if the pot has holes at the bottom, it cannot hold that water. The water will pour right out.

So I can keep doing all these different things for Nathan but ultimately he has to be ready for them. If he is not ready for them, he cannot assimilate them and they will just fade away.

She talked about “potentizing” everything I do with Nathan. Instead of just tossing seeds into his gardens and then not watering them and seeing which ones are strong enough to grow, she alluded to the fact that I should “potentize” every seed so it has the best chance possible to grow. Then I can throw fewer seeds and focus on maximizing the potential of each one. Potentizing means giving him everything from a place of love and belief. Because ultimately nothing external is going to help him, it’s his belief about what he does and my belief about what I offer him that will create change.

She gave the analogy of a teacher. If the teacher walks into the classroom angry and with frantic energy, the students will feel that energy and react in the same way. We all know that people pick up on energies. We all know that little babies reflect the moods of the mothers. Instead, if the teacher takes time to balance and ground herself, and comes into the classroom with a peaceful, balanced mind, the children will respond in the same way. We affect people not just by what we say or do, but also with the energy used when we do and say things.

Sometimes less is more. If I do less and do what I do with a profound consciousness of peace and love, it will be more powerful than doing 30 things with little consciousness.

I have to admit it is a complete paradigm shift for me.

But it was this guidance that I have been praying for. I just needed that extra help and support to help me understand that Nathan’s soul and body is wise.

And I know some of you are thinking – I told you so – but the thing is, we have to be ready to assimilate things, and there is a long road between the head and the heart. I had to be ready to understand this deep in my heart. And now I am.

She encouraged me to meditate every day about all of these decisions that I have to make for Nathan. Instead of asking other people, like my wonderful blog readers or Dr. Kenny or others, I should find those answers within myself during prayer and meditation sessions. It is time to stop giving control to others and to find wisdom and strength within myself.

It is a leap of faith. I have believed from the beginning that if I offer Nathan every possible thing under the planet, I am giving him every chance I can.

Instead, now I am starting to realize that it is not about offering everything under the planet. I am learning that the best thing I can offer him is a calm, peaceful, balanced mom with a lot of time to play and interact with him. It was no mistake that from the long list of things that I wanted to offer him, one of the 2 things Nathan chose was Reike by mom.

Deb encouraged me to spend a lot of time and energy stimulating Nathan in 3 areas – visual, auditory, and tactile. So in between whatever therapies we decide to do, she suggested doing things like telling him stories about myself, reading him fantasy books, imaginary playing with him, letting him grab and touch different textures, using a loofa or sponge to rub his body, massage him, playing with him on his belly. These are all exercises that we’ve been assigned through our AIAHP program. However, the feeling was different, which is why we didn’t do that enough. The feeling behind the AIAHP program was to do these things as part of a structured series of exercises with a goal in mind. Deb encouraged me to do these things as a way of playing and interacting with Nathan, with the main objective being enjoyment.

She did encourage me to reduce TV time, which I have been thinking about doing for quite some time now. And most importantly, she encouraged me to find ways of enabling Nathan to communicate back with us. She encouraged me to make 30 copies of our YES and NO cards and putting them everywhere, so wherever we are, Nathan would have a visual cue to tell us what he does or doesn’t want. The more he can communicate, the more he will feel connected to those around him.

The most important message that I felt from this meeting was that it was time for me to stop being a bull in a china shop, and to start being a lot more gentle and subtle. I feel that it’s time for me to start respecting Nathan’s spirit and his purpose for being in this world and allowing his spirit to guide me in the things that I do to help him. So instead of doing things that I think would help him, I should let his spirit (through muscle testing and meditation) tell me what he wants and/or needs. Respect feels like it’s the key word. I guess sometimes in doing what we think is best for our children we cause them more harm. So I feel like it is time for me to start valuing his higher self first and foremost and only doing things that serve his higher self.

I know this all sounds very esoteric but what it boils down to is this – the more I balance and ground myself, the more I will be able to help Nathan with love, patience and respect.

As for Nathan’s school placement, she reccommended a Waldorf preschool not far from my house, but I will talk about this more tomorrow.