A little piece of heaven

These pictures were taking the morning after Owen forgot Lucas in the car, I couldn’t find my camera so I wasn’t able to post them before. Enjoy:

In lieu of my lovely depressing post yesterday I thought I’d write about something that I am just figuring out. It has to do with nutrition.

I’ve been reading a lot about nutrition, special diets, etc. I got turned on to all this stuff by Jenny McCarthy’s books, where she talks about the connection between special diets and children with autism. In her books she just mentions the connection between the gut and the brain, so I’ve been reading other books and trying to understand more.

I’m going to paste a quote here about yeast/candida:

There is a great deal of evidence that a form of yeast, candida (rhymes with “Canada”) albicans, may cause autism and may exacerbate many behavior and health problems in autistic individuals, especially those with late-onset autism.

Candida albicans belongs to the yeast family and is a single-cell fungus. This form of yeast is located in various parts of the body including the digestive tract. Generally speaking, benign microbes limit the amount of yeast in the intestinal tract, and thus, keep the yeast under control. However, exposure to antibiotics, especially repeated exposure, can destroy these microbes. This can result in an overgrowth of candida albicans. When the yeast multiplies, it releases toxins in the body; and these toxins are known to impair the central nervous system and the immune system.

Some of the behavior problems which have been linked to an overgrowth of candida albicans include: confusion, hyperactivity, short attention span, lethargy, irritability, and aggression. Health problems can include: headaches, stomachaches, constipation, gas pains, fatigue, and depression. These problems are often worse during damp and/or muggy days and in moldy places. Additionally, exposure to perfumes and insecticides can worsen the condition.

So it seems that when someone has yeast overgrowth it causes behaviors like irritability and depression.

I have noticed that Nathan is generally happier lately. He seems to have more energy and unless he’s feeling bad (which he has been on and off since he has an ear infection), he’s been a lot more happy and receptive to trying new things. He’s even enjoying time spent on his belly!

And I am starting to realize this has a lot to do with this yeast thing.

One reason why I’m so interested in this is because I just realized that I myself have this problem. I took the probiotic I’m giving Nathan, VSL#3 for a couple of days, just so I could know what I was giving Nathan. I didn’t think much of it, and then I got the most awful horrible headache the other day, and very intense cravings for sugar. Something felt completely off. I started looking online and realized that the VSL#3 was causing yeast die off and I was experiencing the symptoms of this die off.

So now I am realizing that not only can nutrition seriously affect behavior in our kids, but it can in us too!

I’m going through some pretty heavy duty detox myself and it’s AWFUL. I think thats what had me so emotional yesterday. So I’ve decided to see a doctor myself and go through the same nutritional treatment that we’re doing with Nathan. I figure this will be the best way to improve my own health, as well as to know what Nathan might be going through so I can best help him.

Anyways, I wanted to point out this discovery to illustrate just how important this nutritional connection is for our kids, I am just so sorry I didn’t find out about this sooner.

Anyways, things went very well today, we took Nathan to my grandma’s house and he spent some time in the kidwalk and he actually enjoyed it! He took a couple of steps on his own if I stimulated him by pushing it forward. I think this will take him some time to figure out as his muscle tone gets all funky. When he wants to move he gets tight, and if he relaxes he gets too floppy. Hehehe. But I am sure with enough time and practice he will figure out how to control his muscles. If he doesn’t, at least he’ll have the experience of being upright and when he is hanging out with his buddies he can at least be at eye level!

… comes the downward slope.

Yesterday, Nathan got his Kidwalk. Yipeee, right??!! NOT.

When the guy finally arrived with the Kidwalk, after a 7.5 month fight with CCS, medi-cal, blue cross, regional center, after a dozen letters, 10 dozen phone calls, well you get the pictures… I was ecstatic, worse than a kid at Christmas, I felt I had been given the biggest present of my entire life. Nathan could now become mobile!

I rushed over to the instructions, quickly figured out what to do, and rushed to put him in. I was literally beside myself.

But Nathan wasn’t. In fact he was the opposite from beside himself. He was pissed. The lip came out instantly, and the whiney whimpery newborn puppy whiney complaints started.

I was jumping around, calling him, encouraging him to move, I put his juice in front of him trying to get him to take a step, a single step. But…nothing. After 7.5 months it seems that whatever magic had enabled him to take steps that one time he was in the Kidwalk has now evaporated.

I figured, it’s okay, we’ll try again later. So later we tried again, and same. His legs were like noodles, and when I say noodles, I mean noodles. Pick up a cooked noodle and watch how it just sort of wobbles around with no sustance, no strength. Those are Nathan’s legs. Unless he decides to get stiff. Then they’re as stiff as a baseball bat. Try bending a baseball bat – not easy.

Anyways…he whined and complained and started crying so hard I had to take him out – I didn’t want him associated the Kidwalk with torture.

Today I tried again at home. More of the same. So I thought, hmmm. We need to put him in it in a more stimulating environment. So I took him to the park and positioned him a few steps away from the swing and told him to take a few steps to the swing. Nothing. His legs just dangle while he whimpers and whines.

And I know I have to give him time. I know it will take time. I know it’s something new to him and I can’t expect him to do well in it right away.

But it still breaks my heart. Let me explain something. The first time we tried out a Kidwalk, Nathan took off. We were at an Abilities Expo and he started walking from me to Owen and back. It was the most amazing thing. So all these months I had the illusion that as soon as he got the kidwalk, off he’d go. Instead I see he has lost even more and now that illusion seems like that’s all it was – an illlusion.

I know that with a lot of time and practice it’s possible that he might be able to do it. That he might be able to learn how to move.

But after having that illusion for so long I feel so sad and so heartbroken. Why does everything have to be so hard for Nathan? Why can’t he have one thing that he can do?

I’m sorry I know I’m being negative and ridiculous, that I should be grateful that we finally got the device and that I have to give him time. I know I should be grateful about so many things.

But I guess the downward slopes are part of the journey too.

Anyways..after our perfect day of doing everything, we’ve had two days of getting nothing done. Oh well. Tommorrow’s another day.