Ruminating

I’ve just put Isabelle and Nathan to bed. She’s decided that she wants to sleep with Nathan in his room every night. I marvel at the fact that he acts as her anchor. He settles her down, brings her peace, helps her to wind down. He looks at me with both panic and joy in his eyes. What will she do to me tonight, he wonders. I’ve gone to his room to find her literally asleep on top of him. I’ve found her with her feet in his face. I’ve found her with her head on his back. But there’s also joy in his eyes. He loves his sister, loves being with her, and he feels joy to have his sister with him while they sleep.

I look at them before kissing them good night and shutting the door, and I can’t help but marvel at how different they are. Nathan, my Buddha boy, always calm, always happy. Isabelle, intense, exuberant, always on edge, always on the verge of a meltdown. I never thought I’d worry more about my typical daughter, but it’s true. Around Nathan I feel calm, peaceful, settled. He is so patient, so easy going, so happy all the time. Izzy, on the other hand, is, well, the exact opposite. Impatient, demanding, loud, always needing attention, such huge demands and feelings in such a small package.

They balance each other out. And I’m grateful that he is in her life, to bring her that peace, that stability. And I’m grateful that she’s in his life, to bring him joy, excitement, entertainment. They are perfect together. And all I can do is wonder what Gryffin will bring to the mix.