To me, you’re perfect

From Random

My mom gave me this ornament when we were decorating the nursery for Nathan.  I was around 7 months pregnant with him.

I have looked at this little ornament hanging on the wall next to Nathan’s bed thousands of times.

But it’s only now, today, that I really understand its meaning.

Many of you have watched as I have gone up and down and around on this roller coaster ride.  One day I accept, the next I don’t, the next I’m off chasing a miracle therapy, the next I’m exhausted and done trying, the next I pick myself back up and accept again, the next I’m back where I started.   Even if you just joined us recently, you have watched this most wildest of rides.

But Nathan has taught me, the most stubborn person in the planet, what it means to accept.   I hear him snoring loudly in his sleep and I feel nothing but the deepest of love.  I watch him struggling to hold up his head and I just feel grateful that he has a living head to hold.   I hear him saying his little sounds and I feel like I am hearing the most beautiful music in the world.

Tonight as I was giving Nathan his massage and putting him to bed, I looked over at that little sign on the wall and wondered how anything could be more true in this world.

So for those of you who called or emailed, worried about yesterday’s Belle news – yes, I really AM okay.  I feel nothing but deep deep love for these children, the one born, the one not yet born.  Nathan has taught me to accept even the most imperfect of people.  And how could Belle be anything but perfect?  Down Syndrome, no DS, brown hair, blonde hair, my ugly feet or her dad’s long legs – does any of it really matter?  She is a person, who feels and who breathes and who will laugh and love – what more could anyone want?

Yes, I am okay, truly truly and fully okay.  Well, except I have an annoying cold – that’s my biggest problem right now 😉