Waiting for the miracle

I’ve been thinking a lot about miracles in the last few days. I met a little miracle boy on Saturday. He has agenesis of the corpus callosum. This can be very debilitating, and of the few people that I know who have children with ACC, they are very impacted by this brain malformation. But this little boy is doing incredibly well. He can walk, run, talk, normal intelligence, normal socialization skills. He’s truly a miracle.

Then I read about little Stellan. When I started following their blog a couple of weeks ago, he was having life-threatening problems with his heart. In fact he flat-lined during one of the interventions. Shortly after, however, he underwent an incredibly complicated procedure and they were able to completely fix his heart problem – forever. From dying on the table to complete recovery in 3 days. Another miracle. You can read their story on their blog: My Charming Kids.

Stellan’s mom wrote a post wondering about miracles too. She wondered why her son got his miracle, while other kids don’t. Why does this happen? Why is it that some kids with holoprosencephaly can walk and talk, while others are so severely impacted? Why can some kids function with half a brain, while others have a perfect looking brain but severe problems?

Some of us sit and wait for a miracle. Others do everything in their power to create a miracle. Others accept that their kids are perfect the way they are and don’t need a miracle. Yet others believe that their kids are perfect yet still wait for the miracle.

I’ve already seen many miracles with Nathan. His every breath is a miracle. His intelligence is a miracle. The fact that he survived HPE and meningitis is a miracle.

And even though I am a miracle veteran (Faith’s mom coined this phrase), I still sit and wait for another miracle. Because have no doubt, what I am doing now in Chile is asking and waiting for a miracle. Think about it for a moment. Think of Nathan’s current physical development. It would be a miracle if Nathan goes from Raggedy Andy to becoming a functional (in worldly terms) child.

And here I am, waiting, waiting, waiting. Learning patience. I wait because I know the miracle will come.

Am I ungrateful? Am I selfish to ask for more when I’ve gotten so much already? Have I truly accepted him if I want him to change? These are the questions I ask myself, for which I have no answer. They are part of the journey, and I hope one to have answers. In the meantime, I do the only thing I now how to do – keep moving forward. Keep being an optimist. Keep waiting for the miracle.