What I’ve Lost

My Journey to Oz did not make me lose faith, or hope. My journey to oz only gave me strength.

I lost many things during my journey:

  • The painful mind of expectations. I no longer expect anything out of our treatments and programs. If they help Nathan, great! If not, that’s great too.
  • Instant Gratification – I now understand that this is a life-long journey and that there is no treatment that will be an instant miracle. All of Nathan’s improvements will happen over time with a lot of patience and hard work.
  • Fear. I realized that I was consumed in fear of the future. I was afraid for Nathan, for all of the possible ways that he can suffer. My journey helped me find courage in my heart. I now realize that fear exists in the head, in a contrived future. If I stay in my heart I stay in the present, in my love for Nathan, and in that love there is faith and beauty, and no room for fear.

I have not lost hope, I have gained more than ever before. I have gained the most wonderful freedom, shedding 1,000 pounds of worry and anxiety.

And I have gained so much enjoyment of my son, and sheer appreciation.

To the mothers of special needs children reading this blog – I have not given up. I am stronger than ever before. I have just settled in for the long haul.

Tommorrow we start a new program for Nathan, integrating everything we have learned over the last few months. You can see the schedule here:

Nathan’s Schedule

And now for some cute pictures:

Speak Your Mind