A little piece of heaven

During our 2nd meeting with Anat, it was as if we met an entirely different person. Night and day is too mild to describe the difference in her attitude. She came out to grab us in the waiting area with a smile, and was very kind and sweet. She started out the session by praising Nathan and commenting on how smart he is and how willing he is to learn and how responsive to the lessons. Her charisma was cranked up to “high” and it’s too bad I’m so jaded otherwise I would’ve quite enjoyed myself.

We had a bit of a setback at the beginning of the session as Nathan had managed to poop so we had to go and change him before starting. While we changed him she asked me what changes I saw and I told her a few of the things I’d noticed – the fact that he was “talking” responsively, he was moving and responding to commands, his muscle tone seemed better in his arms. She told me that we’ve probably raised his IQ a few points in just the last few days.

Once Nathan was changed she got him on the table and started working on his hands while she talked. She was rotating his hands in circles and using all kinds of tricks to get him to relax and open the hands.

It seemed that her agenda for this session was to “teach” us about her method. She started by talking about how all of Nathan’s problems are based on the brain and we should be focusing on helping improve his brain instead of wasting time workign on other things. She spoke about mapping the body and movements in the brain, about using brain plasticity to our advantage, about the fact that if we can teach his brain to control muscle tone then a lot of his issues will go away.

She then went to tell me that I am incorrect in my views on rehabilitation. During one of my sessions with Neil I had mentioned the different things we’re doing with Nathan, which he relayed to Anat. She told me that it is not correct to have a therapy for every problem – that’s not how the brain works. You can’t have a therapy for infant reflexs, a therapy for anti-gravitational response, a therapy for movement, a therapy for structure. She didn’t mention exactly HOW the brain works – just that my theory was wrong. She said that we just need one therapy to help the brain mature and function more effectively – which is the foundation of her work.

Then she went on to tell me that even reflex integration therapy is completely unscientific. She told me that she had spoken to the foremost expert in the WORLD in infant reflexes (she didn’t mention the name) and she said that reflexes can’t just be integrated into the brain. Reflexes are immature responses and as the brain matures and the cortex develops, the brain integrates these reflexes. If the cortex is immature, no amount of reflex integration work can eliminate these reflexes.

As she was talking she continued working on Nathan’s hands and then got him to relax his grip. Nathan was pretty relaxed and at some point even laughed at Anat’s animated way of speaking. After a little while she moved on to working on teaching him to roll to his stomach and had him doing something similar to the first appointment – teaching him to get to his belly from his back and how to lift up his head while on his belly.

I tried responding to Anat’s soliloquy and explaining to her that I have noticed a difference in Nathan’s infant reflexes since we started reflex integration therapy and I’ve noticed that it’s freed Nathan up to have a greater ability to move. I also know of a few families who’ve seen amazing results with reflex integration therapy. She did say, ultimately what matters is not the science, it’s whatever works, right. But I quickly realized that this wasn’t a conversation and that she wasn’t really looking for feedback, that she had a message to deliver and interrupting her wouldn’t serve a purpose.

She continued to tell me that after meeting with Neil and Sylvie, she felt Nathan had great potential to learn. She felt that it was shameful that he was so delayed and that whoever had worked iwth Nathan before her should be ashamed of themselves for not helping him to develop more than he is.

However, she told me that in order for us to know to what extend this method can help Nathan, we should stop all other therapies.

She proposed that we come back 3 more times in 3 months to the ABM center. During that time we could work with her a couple more times, and the rest of the times with Neil and Sylvie. While at home, we’d work with Victoria every week. It would look something like this: 1 week intensive at the ABM center for 10 sessions, the following week 2 sessions with Victoria, the following week 4 sessions with Victoria, then another 1 week intensive at the ABM center, etc. After 9 weeks of this she felt we could really have a good idea of Nathan’s capacity and ability to learn.

However, she stressed that the key was for us to stop EVERYTHING else – no PT at all, no standers or walkers, no ABR or Medek or Laser. Nothing at all other than ABM. She felt that even a tiny bit of any of these would foil the attempt of working exclusively at giving input to his brain via this method. So if I decided to do this intensive trial and I cheated by doing anything else it would invalidate the trial. She then told me to think about it and let them know in a few days.

Once she finished delivering her message, the session was over. She handed Nathan back to me and apologized but she had other clients waiting and a guest speaker coming that night to the center. I didn’t really have time for questions or to express any of my views or concerns. The whole session was about 45 minutes.

My impression of the session? I wish we would’ve had this talk at a different time – not when she was meant to be actively working on Nathan. The main reason I went to the Center was because she was supposed to be able to perform magic with her hands and get incredible results in just 1 or 2 sessions. I didn’t see any magic with Anat – I saw magic in Neil and Sylvie’s hands. I am sure she could have magic if that was her intent, but the first session was a disaster and the second session she was more focused on teaching and talking. She did work with him while she talked but the focus was just not on him – you can’t really talk to the parent and the child at the same time. So I still felt disappointed after this session. I didn’t need to be taught about brain development. I didnt’ need to be taught about her method. I had already done my research and that’s why I was there. I did want her to work with Nathan and try and do something magical, which was the only thing that was lacking.

Her proposal I found quite smart. It makes all the sense in the world from the point of view of determining the effectiveness of the method.

Will we do it? That’s fodder for tomorrow’s post!

Unfortunately since I didn’t write the posts on the same day, things are already a bit blurry and I can’t remember what specific exercises Nathan did in each session. So I am going to just write a recap of the last 3 sessions.

The 4th session was with Neil. He continued talking to Nathan and requiring his participation in all of the movements. He worked a lot on his hands and showing him how to keep his hands open and arms relaxed. He worked on rolling to his tummy and lifting his head up while on his tummy. He also showed him how to lift his hand up while on his tummy (so eventually he can use one hand to play).

Let me mention that Nathan needed about 90% assistance for all of the movements. The key is that they were showing him HOW to do it. They wouldn’t do it for him – they would facilitate the movements but ultimately it was Nathan who did them. For example, to get him to go from lying on his belly to bunny sitting, they would support him but they would ask him to make the movements. So they would ask him to bend on leg, then the other, then drop his bum, then lift his head and push up with his arms. Nathan would actually perform the activities, with help and support from Neil or Sylvie.

This turned out to be Nathan’s last session with Neil, and it was truly a great one. It was amazing to watch how attentive and receptive Nathan was with Neil. I also loved how Neil picked up very subtle cues from Nathan and “went with it”, so there was quite a flow going between the two of them. Although I am sure Neil had a plan, he allowed Nathan’s cues to impact what they did.

The 2nd session on the 4th day was with Anat. I want to write an entire point dedicated to this appointment so I am going to skip this one today.

Nathan’s last appointment was with Sylvie on Friday morning. They worked on many of the same movements, and once again Nathan cooperated and remembered what he had been taught on previous sessions. Apparently one of the important movements is for the kids to do a “bridge”, where they have their feet planted on the ground and lift their bum up on the air. Nathan did it very well several times. She also worked again on teaching him long and short arm, teaching him to vocalize an answer when asked a question, and how to roll from his back to his stomach and then lift his head up.

My favorite part of this appointment was how she showed him how to move while on his back. She would hold his feet against the table, and ask him to push. When he pushed, he would drag his body on the floor and scoot back. It was like a back scoot. She put him on one end of the table and had him scooting towards me on the other end of the table. Nathan loved it! Once again I saw the light of “movement” turn on in his eyes. He was loving the idea of being able to get to me from one side of the room to the other.

We were meant to have one more appointment with Neil but unfortunately we had to cancel it. We had to leave our B&B and didn’t have anywhere to spend the hours in between sessions. So we headed for home at about 1pm on Friday.

I am going to write 2 more posts – the 2nd appointment with Anat, and a summary of the Anat Baniel Method and my opinion of it. I just wanted to have a record of each of the appointments and what was worked on for future reference.

In general ALL of the sessions with Neil and Sylvie were incredibly powerful and I think very helpful for Nathan. Both of them are wonderful therapists and I think quite gifted at their work. I am grateful that Nathan had a chance to work with them.

Our 2nd day at the Anat Baniel Method Center started off very positively. Nathan saw Neil in the morning.

At the very beginning of the appointment, it was apparent that Anat and Neil had spoken about Nathan and they had decided on a treatment plan. Neil was doing things slightly differently from the day before. I’m not sure what exactly they discussed but from the very beginning something seemed different – better.

A few minutes into the appointment Nathan turned to his side (his only functional movement) and started eating his hands. He is absolutely addicted to hand eating. Neil noticed and decided Nathan wasn’t allowed to put his hand in his mouth as it would make him “check out” and would prevent him from paying attention to the lesson.

So in a stern but loving voice he said, “NO”. Nathan’s face and reaction to this simple word was CLASSIC. He looked SHOCKED that someone dared to say no to him. Let’s just say that NO is not a word that is often used in our house. After a couple of moments and a bit of whining, Nathan realized that Neil wasn’t going to give in like mommy and daddy.

I could almost see a switch turning on in Nathan’s brain. He recognized Neil’s gentle authority and decided that he was going to work with him. Don’t think that he gave up – he still tried many more times to overtly and covertly get his hands in his mouth – but every single time Neil pushed his hand away and said “no” until the message was VERY clear.

Why am I spending so much time talking about this – because I had never realized how important this relationship is between the therapist and client. I feel that this single incident opened the door to the possibility of learning in Nathan’s brain. From this moment on, Nathans was listening and willing.

Neil proceeded to work on many movements with Nathan. He worked on teaching Nathan how to roll to his tummy. He showed him how to bend his legs underneath him, drop his bum down, push up with his arms, and end up in a bunny sitting position. He taught him how to bend and stretch his arms.

Another amazing thing happened during this session.

Once Neil had Nathan in this bunny sitting position, he played this game with him where he would lift him up so he was sitting on his bum and then he had him bounce with his hands touching the table. It’s hard to describe. The key is that Nathan LOVED it!

So Neil asked him if he wanted to do it again. Nathan said “Yeahhhhhhhh”. It was sooo clear! So Neil did it again. And then Nathan said “Mo”. I couldn’t believe it! It happened again and again and again!

By talking to Nathan as if he was all there, listening, and in control, Neil was able to get so much out of him. I was shocked at the beginning of the session when Neil asked Nathan to bend his legs, and he did. He would ask him to give him his hands, and he did it. I honestly didn’t really know if Nathan knew his body parts and I had no idea that he could bend them, move them, etc on command. Neil figured this out withing 5 minutes of the session.

Of all of the sessions we had that week – that 2nd session with Neil (3rd overall) was the most powerful session to me. I felt so positive and so excited about the treatment after witnessing such an amazing outcome!

In the afternoon Nathan worked with Sylvie, who is also amazing. She also talked to him and caught his interest, but in a gentler way. Nathan was super responsive to her and, like in the morning session, follower her requests.

During that session Sylvie worked on showing Nathan how to feel his back. She also taught him about short arms and long arms. She taught him that if he wanted to use his arms he had to use long arms to reach. His tendency is to bend his arms inwards when he wants to do something. So she corrected him over and over again, asking him to do soemthing and saying, no, that’s short arm, give me long arm – to get him to stretch his arms out. I could tell how hard it was for him, but Nathan was listening and learning.

She reinforced some of the movements that Neil had taught Nathan in the morning, and it was apparent that Nathan had retained the information. The moment she got him on his belly, he was trying to bend and get into bunny sitting position. He remembered the movements and was trying to perform the same movements he had learned.

As we left the office that day we ran into Linda and Thomas. We had met a couple of years ago through one of the Yahoo groups that I read. They are also friends with the wonderful family that brought us to CME and who was kind enought to host us while in Toronto. Linda and I had spoken on the phone a couple of years ago. Small world eh!

Linda and I ended up meeting up at a wonderful Spanish restaurant after the kids had all gone to bed. We had an amazing time talking and eating – so much so that we had to get kicked out of the restaurant at closing time! How quickly time flies when you can sit around and chat about all these topics that you normally don’t get to discuss with real live people!

Anyways, I think this was my favorite day of all. I think in the future this day will definitly signify a turning point in how we treat and work with Nathan. He learned so much and we learned so much about him – thanks to these 2 amazing loving caring therapists.